Kirsten Captures

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, but it was just too hard. Now it’s time. It really hit me when I came home today from my bike ride to the gym. Usually my dog Holly hears me come inside and rushes to greet me. She then sees me in sweaty workout clothes and starts barking like crazy because she knows I will take her for a long walk. I always do after working out. She bounds out the door in excitement, pulling at her leash, and I have to jog to keep up. But today I opened the door to an empty and quiet house. No barking, no walk, no Holly.

The Friday before I came home, November 30th, our little dog Holly passed away.

Saturday morning I received an email from my mom asking me to Skype her right away. I immediately called her and asked her what happened. She told me that Holly had died earlier that day. Since Thanksgiving, Holly had not been doing well. She was barely eating and sleeping a lot more. On Friday my mom found her having trouble breathing. She took Holly to the vet who started running lots of tests. They thought it might be lung cancer that had spread through her whole body. Basically the vet could have performed surgery but it would have been no use. Holly was an old dog, almost 15 years old.

My poor mom was confronted with the decision of whether or not to put her down. At this point they had Holly on an IV so she wasn’t suffering too much. My mom couldn’t get a hold of my dad or my sisters so she eventually decided to put Holly down.

This has been so tough on my family. We got Holly when we first moved into our new house. I was 10 years old. Holly was a Christmas puppy. For Christmas that year my sisters and I got a card with a picture of a small ball of white fluff. The card announced that she was ours and would come home in a couple of months. She arrived on Valentine’s Day 1998 and was the sweetest and smallest little puppy in the world. Overtime she became our shadow and the diva of the house. She drove us all crazy but we loved her.

I can’t tell you how terrible I feel. I missed her by just 4 days and wasn’t there for her in her final couple of months. But my family says that she had a great Thanksgiving. She went to my uncle’s house for dinner, ate people food, and took a ride on the boat. She lived a great life for 15 years and is in a better place in doggy heaven with her mama.

I am grateful that I was able to spend almost 2 years with Holly by my side. When I moved back home I was struggling with a bad breakup, new job, no friends, and what seemed like no future. Holly was my constant companion and would not leave me alone! If I was feeling sad or angry I would leash up Holly and take her for a long walk down the street. Sometimes she would have these bursts of energy and would start sprinting down the street! I would sprint after her, laughing, completely breathless.

Most of the time Holly would follow me around the house. Wherever I sat she would curl at my feet with a huffy little grunt or paw at me till I picked her up. If I stopped petting her she would paw at my hand incessantly, begging me to keep going. She loved having her belly rubbed and would just lay down to give you better access. She slept with me every night and would whine until I put her on the bed because she couldn’t jump that high. She would lie down against my body and keep me warm while hogging the bed.

She loved car rides and traveling to new places. Holly thought that she was a big dog and would race after bigger dogs on the street to play. She loved to snuggle and spent hours on your lap. She listened to me cry many times. She had the softest fur, little button nose, and small leathery paws. She often had a crazy fro after groomers. She had brown eyes and curly tail.

I will miss my boo bear, my holls balls so much. She was like another little sister. I am so thankful that she was with me for more than half my lifetime and I will miss her everyday. She filled my life with such love and comfort. I never really knew it until she was gone. While I am sad that she is gone, I am glad that she was here.

She will be my sweet puppy forever.